Voicemail
by caliberkitten
Summary: Levi calls her voicemail over and over until he's a drunken mess at the bottom of the bathtub.


_ "Hi it's Petra, sorry I couldn't get to the phone, but you know what to do after the beep!"_

_ -/-_

_Message left on August 11, at 11:56 a.m._

"Hey Petra, it's me. I just wanted to hear your voice again. I'm sorry for what happened. I miss you."

_Click._

-/-

_Message left on August 13, at 3:14 p.m._

"Your funeral was today, but I guess if you believed in all that afterlife bullshit, you probably already knew that. You never did tell me if you did or not. Pastor Nick kept on saying all this crap about being in a better place. _God has her now_ he said. What a fucking idiot. Whatever. I miss you, Petra."

-/-

_Message left on October 31, at 10:47 p.m._

"It's me again. There's a Halloween party tonight but I'm not going. I don't think I've ever gone to party without you and I don't want to start now. Hanji is staying over though. She's been doing that a lot recently. She got really fucked up when she finally accepted that you were dead. I've been letting her sleep in the bedroom, I hope you don't mind. She really needs you. I'm so _so _sorry."

-/-

_Message left on December 25, at 2:03 a.m._

"Merry Christmas."

-/-

_Message left on January 4, at 1:57 p.m._

"It's Levi again. I got this call a couple days ago. It was the police station, they were saying all this shit about how they think they found out who killed you, and now they want me to come down there and look at the suspects, and god, I got so fucking wasted after I hung up. I can't even think of what's going to happen when I go in there. Petra this is just crap, you know, it's useless. How am I going to know who killed you? I wasn't there, _no one_ was there. This is so fucking stupid. God, I just wish you were still here."

-/-

_Message left on January 24, at 7:33 a.m._

"The girl who killed you confessed right away. I couldn't even be mad at her, I just saw her face and I _hated _her. I hated what she had done. Now it's real, now you're dead, you're really actually dead. I hoped for so long that maybe you had staged your own murder. Ran off and changed your name, like those shitty spy movies we used to watch. I'm going fucking crazy without you."

-/-

_Message left on March 10, at 5:21 p.m._

"A coffee shop opened up last week. They're a couple blocks down the street, and I was thinking about taking Eren down there sometime. I remember you two would do things like that, and you'd always come back and say something ridiculous like, '_Back from my brunch break!_', and I'd get so jealous and I don't even know why anymore. I probably should have known that you weren't interested in a guy four years younger than you. It might make him feel a bit better, at least. Maybe I'll take Hanji too."

-/-

_March 30_

_We're sorry, this voice mailbox is full. Please try again later. Goodbye._

"This is so fucking stupid, Petra. I don't know what to do with myself anymore, I just _don't. _I visited Eren last week and he cried as soon as he saw me, he just fucking _broke down_ and we had lunch and he told me all this stuff about you two and about how much he still misses you, and then he washed his face and was better. And Hanji- God, Hanji, she got fucking depressed back in September and would sleep for _days_ but then she got up one day and was back to herself and now she's back at her own house and doing actual things with her life, and she misses you, _I know_ that she does, but she doesn't let it drag her down. And everybody still misses you and everybody still cries every once in a while, but fuck Petra why can't I? Why can't I just get better like everyone else? They just... they just let it all out and then decided to carry on, and I can't. All I do is sit in the fucking bathtub and drink and call a dead girls cellphone and I can't even hear your voice anymore, all I get is this stupid message saying that the mailbox is full. And I hate myself for that, because I know that I was the one who filled it. And I can't touch you anymore or see you, and now I can't even hear you and it's all my fault, and _I need you Petra._"

-/-

_August 5_

_ I'm sorry the number you have reached is no longer in service. Goodbye._

"Listen, it's been a year since you died, and I'm not over you, I don't think I'll ever get over you, but I do think I learned how to cope with the pain. I still love you Petra."

_Click_.


End file.
